i couldn't believe my ears
1) “So, tell me all the details--like, when you had the baby, was it just like, ‘oh my gosh, i don’t have a baby inside me anymore?’”This was loudly gushed from a girl i hardly know who somehow made her way into the neonatal ICU (with two church friends of ours) where Elisabeth was staying. It didn’t help that the girl was very pregnant, and i was still dealing with feelings of depression from, among other things, never “looking” pregnant…not to mention all the emotions that went along with all I had been experiencing with Elisabeth in the hospital for weeks and weeks. Oh, and after I had been tormented (believe me, this question was only one of MANY), she moved her way over to ANOTHER MOTHER of a baby in the ICU. This, my friends, is why the rule “only two visitors at a time are allowed” was made. (And in this instance, I—or the nurses, hello?—definitely should have enforced it.) You know how sometimes you think you may have been rude to someone, but you probably really weren’t? Well, I wish I would’ve had the guts to be even ruder.
2) “So, was that hard? With her being in the hospital and all?”
UNBELIEVABLE.
3) “Have you bonded?” (Asked in a real sickly sweet kind of way.)
UNREAL.
These two questions came almost back-to-back out of the mouth of a nice, but extremely flaky woman I know. Let me set the scene so you’ll have a better picture: these questions were asked while standing over Elisabeth in her crib at home (she had been home a week and a half or so). Please keep in mind she was in the hospital for FORTY-EIGHT DAYS. No, no—that wasn’t hard AT ALL. Wow. And as far as how to answer this next question—I’m just speechless. I understand some women have trouble feeling close to their babies, but you show me ANY parent of a premature baby who has stayed in an ICU for seven weeks that doesn’t feel like every fiber of their being is woven and attached to every tiny part of that baby…I can’t imagine. (By the way, I hate the word “bonded,” I’m pretty sure.)
4) “Well, how much is she weighing these days?”
(I give the current weight.)
“Oh my, well you know, [Junior] was never THAT small—I mean, he came out weighing BLAH BLAH BLAH.”
I cannot beLIEVE or begin to count the number of times I’ve heard this. Tell me, how in the world is it at all comforting OR even remotely funny to tell me Junior’s birth weight when my little baby was born ten weeks early weighing roughly the size of a half a sack of sugar? I am extremely proud of every OUNCE she weighs now, even if it is only a small newborn size and she’s almost four months old. (She’s seven pounds, five ounces, by the way.) :)
Okay, enough meanness for now. I'm sure everyone means well.
all for now @
7:50 AM
3 comment(s):
Wow. I think that's all I can say. Wait, I can always say more...
People are always quick with opinions and thoughtless comments or questions. I know I've said and heard my share. For Eleanor's first six months or so people constantly told me how fat she was. I think it was because she gained a lot of weight around her face giving her the big double chin look. Now people are constantly telling me how small she is for her age.
I'm so glad Elisabeth is healthy and growing and home! She is adorable and we have been praying for you guys. Keep venting...it's good for you:)
-melody
By
M. Lumpkin, at
10:14 AM
I will never understand people. The sad part is I bet she didn't even remotely realize throughout the entire conversation that she was being rude.
I thought about what Melody wrote above. I love me a chubby baby!!! I will always comment on the sausage link arms or legs and that I want to eat them. I never thought that maybe that would hurt another mom's feelings. Hmmm...
Anyway, I feel sorry for the girl that is so clueless.
By
wiebke, at
11:58 AM
Oh my, people are so clueless sometimes! I think when they don't know what to say, they figure they'll just act like everything is great and fine (like, your baby's NOT in the ICU! It's no big deal!)
Like Wendy, I've often commented on how cute chubby babies are... but recently a mother at my sister's daycare called her son (my nephew) a "Michelin baby." Yeah, she wasn't that happy. So from now on, I will not say anything about a baby's weight! =)
By
Rachel, at
7:56 AM
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