rebeekah: November 2004

Thoughts on Kill Bill and Beatrix Kiddo

when cade came to visit me and doug a couple of weeks ago, i seriously think he watched each volume of kill bill about three times, MINIMUM. after viewing them again and again with him, i understand why. as cade has said, kill bill is a story not only of revenge, but one that proudly and honestly displays the strength and beauty of the human spirit.

the character of Beatrix Kiddo has greatly impacted me; to what degree, i am still not quite sure. she represents all that we as humans have the potential to be. if seeing her in action doesn’t inspire you to be more, then i don’t know what will. yes, the movie is violent. yes, there is language and “inappropriate dialogue.” look past all that. as cade said (in so many words), this flick goes far beyond the disturbing elements such as “squishing eyeballs and cutting off limbs.”

of the scene in kill bill, volume 2, that cade and i are so enthralled by, i have composed a descriptive list (primarily for you, kahday):

Induced sleep,
Stripped of (almost) all resources,
Weary and lacking strength;

Submission to “defeat,”
Disbelief,
Hyperventilation,
Despair,
(but not utter despair);

Memory of Lessons Taught and Learned,
then Resolve,
then Action,
Endurance and Perseverance,
even Humility,
Faith,
Determination,
Patience,
Strength Renewed,
and,
ultimately, Victory.

and Freedom.

I don’t think my feelings could be summed up any better than what cade has already said: “i just want to punch my way out of this grave i feel like i'm in. and if i can't do it then i'll watch beatrix do it and get a few chills.”

SAUSAGE BALLS and Beatrix Kiddo

The other day, I stumbled across Proverbs 9.13-18:

13 The woman Folly is loud;
she is undisciplined and without knowledge.
14 She sits at the door of her house,
on a seat at the highest point of the city,
15 calling out to those who pass by,
who go straight on their way.
16 "Let all who are simple come in here!"
she says to those who lack judgment.
17 "Stolen water is sweet;
food eaten in secret is delicious!"
18 But little do they know that the dead are there,
that her guests are in the depths of the grave. [1]

I’m sure you can tell which phrase really jumped out at me. Now, maybe this is referring to eating food that had been offered to idols, I don’t know, but I’m (wrongfully?) going to take the phrase at face value. This phrase coming from the mouth of Folly is a perfect depiction for me of the temptation to eat (“wrong” foods and too much of them) in “secret.” I’ve been yielding to that temptation for years, and yesterday was no exception. Those darn sausage balls in the office kitchen—they were just too good NOT to eat. (Not to mention the mini chocolate éclairs!)

Why can’t I say no to Folly? How can I, at this phase in my life, still “lack [SO MUCH] judgment” (v. 16) and continue to veer from going “straight on [my] way”? (vv. 15-16) I definitely don’t need to eat that one last ball; what compels me so?

What an embarrassing state I have put myself in, and though I know there is hope for me to break free (like Beatrix Kiddo coming out of Paula Shultz’s grave), it’s hard to remember and believe sometimes. Here’s to a healthier diet and SOME form of regular exercise, beginning very soon… (and more about Kiddo later)

BFF

once upon a time i met a girl who turned out to be my bff. there were a few who came before her that i thought were surely going to fill the role, but none other has held a candle to her.

we have in our house what i call "our attic." it's really not an attic at all; rather it is a very large and deep closet (in our bathroom, of all places) that i'm convinced was once used for some type of extremely strange purpose(s). if you were to peer into our attic and look upon the old-fashioned pencil sharpener attached to the wall, i am convinced you would agree. a punishment room for the bad pupil, perhaps?

yesterday i took out of our scary attic a big cardboard box crammed and stuffed with old letters and cards and picture frames. i'm ashamed to say that until last night, this box had not been touched for close to three years. upon finding the goodies inside, i was overjoyed! why had i not looked and sorted through these gems earlier? in making my piles of "keep" or "trash," i came upon card after card after card from my bff. i felt like i was receiving and reading each card for the first time, and each word was gold. each smiley face was a heart-melter. each precious "love from" or "i love you" was a diamond-shaped, left-eyed tear. how can there be such an amazing person as this, Lord? how could someone so incredible love me so incredibly much? she has shown me not only phileo love, but truly agape love, as well, and anyone who has been blessed with her presence in his or her life would testify the same.

i'll never forget an e-mail message i received from my dear mother about my bff, which was probably sent in 1996 or so: she was describing this beautiful person, and began by saying how kind, gentle, joyful, and good she is...but then completed her thought by exclaiming something similar to "well, i suppose she simply embodies the fruit of the Spirit, doesn't she?"

and yes, she does, mother.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." galatians 5.22-23

These Are A Few of My Favourite Things, part 2

how could this list even begin to continue without first naming Australia? beloved country where i spent close to six years of my childhood, birthplace of my youngest sister, home to one of my older sisters and her three precious children, magical place where i long to return...i love you, Australia!
in the true essence of the word "things," i love lotions,
pens,
candles,
movies,
flannel pants,
and, as my first entry suggested, chocolate.

as self-centered as this whole favourites list is, i've decided that whenever i think of more of my favourite things, i will randomly and periodically continue adding to this (self-centered) list. this is, after all, bloggin beeker's blog, so i suppose i can use it however i wish. :)

Of worth and fitting in

For those who know me, this will come as absolutely no surprise to you, but I deeply struggle with feeling like I am of worth and with the reality that I simply do not “fit in.” How old am I? These sound like the words of a pre-adolescent. Unfortunately, yes, I am 27 and am still dwelling on myself. I think of Hebrews 5.12 and know that I should be past all this, but yet I am not. (“In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food!”)

Ah, sigh.

What can lug me out of my selfishness? A ministry I can dive head-first into? (Tegucigalpa, anyone?) Not dwelling on my desire for academia? Focusing on my spouse and thinking of his needs rather than my own? Yes, perhaps these and more, but I think all I really need to do is simply rely on my heavenly Father’s view of me. I need to listen to what He says about me (and speaking of listening, read this amazing bit) and more than that, focus on
Who
He
Is.

Ego ami (sorry, no greek characters)—“I Am.” Just dwelling on those words makes me think of this incredible song with such poignant words...

I AM
by Lori Chaffer

I am more than you think
I am more than you know
I’m as black as the darkest night
And whiter than snow
You’re tipping through wires and words
And spires and tombstones

I have burned with desire
Felt the air become fire
Buried Myself with stones
Given lions my bones
And I love you whether or not you believe Me

I’m as swift as an arrow
But I’m slow when you stray
I’m as calm as the waters
That we walked on that day
And I love whether or not you believe Me

If you ask Me again
My reply still will stand
I am who I am
And I love whether or not you believe Me

These Are A Few of My Favourite Things, part 1

Aunt Sally's triple-chocolate pralines, recently discovered in New Orleans, Louisiana, and a soon-to-be favourite gift to others. (Well, okay--and to myself!)
As shown in the list of links to the right, Real Simple magazine...it brings me joy, comfort and inspiration each month without fail. Funny how pieces of paper and what's written on them could do this, but they do.
World Gospel Outreach , another link to the right, is an organization that i was introduced to in 2000. Through Fellowship Bible Church (another one of my favourite "things"), I was able to participate in a short medical mission trip to Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and my life was forever changed. Sometimes i picture myself going there again (this time with Doug, of course)...
Speaking of churches, i can't do a favourites list and not include my "home" church where my dear parents are still faithfully involved: Kingwood First Baptist Church. (My favourite line on their homepage right now: "No Scary Costumes.")

rebeekah

11.30.2004

Thoughts on Kill Bill and Beatrix Kiddo

11.19.2004

SAUSAGE BALLS and Beatrix Kiddo

11.15.2004

BFF

These Are A Few of My Favourite Things, part 2

11.09.2004

Of worth and fitting in

11.01.2004

These Are A Few of My Favourite Things, part 1

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